Vietnamese Humans, or Some Variation Thereof

We left left Hoi An after 10days/9nights. Why were we in Hoi An for such a long time, you may be thinking to yourself? Periodically, we were wondering the same thing and often found ourselves discussing the merits of this tiny, UNESCO protected river/beach town.

Upon arrival, we had come from 3 days of on/off weather in Nha Trang. Beach life w/out the sun often seems like a baseball game w/out beer and a hotdog. Not bad, but missing a couple of essential componants. We were also slightly sick during Nha Trang, but came out of it during a trip to the Thermal Spa and Mud Baths. Not sure if we already discussed this experience, so suffice to say it was rewarding in that it made us feel infinately healthier and more vibrant, ready to tackle the next phase of our trip.

We have been staying at the An Phu Hotel. Everyday, after the 3rd night, all of the service persons at the hotel ask us (remark), "when are you leaving." It like a cross between a question and statement, something that the Vietnamese seem to be fond of and that we'll discuss later. I believe we've stayed at this hotel longer than any other recent guess, except for this one german guy who walks around all day in the lobby and grunts and huffs and mutters under his breath. "Das Das Das, Fumf!"

The hotel has been more the worthly for our $12, including bike, per night stay. We had been enjoying the free hot water at 800AM and 700PM daily allowing us to endulge in the NESCAFE instant coffee packets that we purchase in order to offset a few Dollars and save us from constantly drinking the sludge, or rather, tar, that the Vietnamese call coffee.

We also have a pool that we used for 5 minutes and then promptly got creaped out by all the hoteliers staring at Val's tattoo and the massage girls prodding for work and the creepy old German guy grunting in the deep end.

Knowing that there is a pool at your hotel is, frankly, more important than really using the pool. And what is the deal with the people that come to the beach town and spend all day in the chlorine laden water instead of the fresh water. What a bunch of weirdo's.

We've also had airconditioning with has been rewarding in that its also night to have, but not necessarily important to use. Kind of like cruise control. I liked having it on my last car, but never used it. Regardless, I'd always remark, "4WD, 22MPG, Great sightlines and CRUISE CONTROL."

The people in Hoi An have certainly been notable. Here are six of interest that we enjoyed seeing. We'll start with out Tailors.

Ken (Mao): Ken made me a cashmere suit w/ perfectly fitting shirts for a disgustingly reasonable price. He drove me on his motorbike to the fabric store where we jumped into the fray of locals and I made my selection. Turns out Ken tried to up and move to England and get a job, but came back after two weeks due to lack of finances and not having a clue what to do when he got there. He also invited us to his brothers wedding, which we couldn't attend because it is in September. But, we were able to make dinner w/ his family. A huge hot pot of pork, green onions, two types of muchrooms and various herbs. What a feast. After dinner he bought us a sugarcane beverage on the street. How about that service after making a modest purchase.

Lee: We got a reference for this street restaurant with an affable English speaking host/cook. This turned out to be out favorite place to eat on the whole trip. Unreal fish and wontons and salads for peanuts! Lee was beyong sleep deprived due to arriving at the market at 600AM and working til 1100, then out for a few hours of "the drinking." On top of that, he had a two year old that looked neither like himself or his baby mama. She was also preggers, due in 2 months. Lee: less Marlboro Reds and less of the drinking and more sleep. He worked at a Western Hotel for 4 years in Cambodia and really honed in on English, so it was good to learn through him about his cooking.

Dress Ladies: These two ladies, mom/daughter, sister/sister, friend/friend, we never could figure out the connectiong, but they ran a thorough and creative clothing shop. Pick your fabric, design your garment, whatever you want, and 24 hours later, perfection for the price of a 3-Pack Hanes Underwear. Val got a pair of pants made and these ladies kept giving Val huges and tapping her bum and holding out hands in this very open and happy manner of service with a smile. It was there way of making us feel comfortable in there store. We almost had them make us superhero capes with a button clasp around the neck, full standing collar and hand holds in the sides. Alas, when it came time to pull the trigger in the item, we looked at each other and realized it was time to leave town.

Beach Vendors:

Mango Lady: The oldest, maybe 90 years old, pusher of goods we've ever seen. Walking up and down the beach w/ 20lbs of fruit, Tiger Balm, Playing Cards, chopsticks, etc. She's walk up to us and say it a very creepy, yet sweet high pitched voice, "mangoooooo." "Baannnaaana."
At first it was endearing. Then weird. Then after she'd come up to us for th 8th or 9th time in 3 hour period, it just got annoying. She, along with all these beach vendors, would just say an item that they sell, then pick it up. We'd say 'no thank you', they'd pick up another one and try again. It got pretty rediculous because after one pass, we knew what they all sold. And this was just one of 9 ladies on this beach with would come up to us 2-3 times an hour. They were certainly bored as there were at most 25 tourists on the beach that was 2km long. Tough going for these ladies.

LuLu #1: Everytime she came buy it was the same sad song, "slow day. Sooo hot. You buy something, me LuLu number #1. If you buy something, you buy from me. Its Happy Hour."

But, with LuLu #1, it was always happy hour. And it was always a special price. Its just so strange that these vendors, on the beach and in the streets throughout Vietnam sell the exact same stuff, most of which we don't want. We don't want the Mango that's been roasting for 7 hours. We don't want another tub of Tiger Balm. We have sun tan loation. The beach is not the place to buy statues of buddahs or chess pieces. Its as it there is a pimp at one end of the beach and he only lets his women sell the same stuff. Same for all teh convenice stores in town. You want cookies? You better like Oreos. (Thankfully, not that we are in Thailand, its all changed. We have selection!)